A brief thought on habits

A few years ago in 2017 I had the privilege of making friends with an individual who turned out to have a profound impact on my life. On the surface he was someone you could tell had experience and in the midst of a college party we sat there talking about books which, if you can imagine, was a little odd given the time and place. As the seed of our friendship grew we saw the time together as a way to talk freely about books and our ideas, something which was rare amongst our group of friends and something which we began to cherish. Then, in winter, before the new semester began, we found ourselves in our college town with not much to do and most people still home from the holidays. I knew he was an avid runner and, though I missed my high school running days, I chose to exercise in the gym in the early morning to build a bit of muscle instead. But on one chilly day in January, upon invitation, I decided to join him and another friend on a three mile run. That decision eventually led to me running with him everyday of the semester and more. I watched my mile time drop and drop while my distances did nothing but increase. All we did was run one mile a day at 7 a.m. with some sprints and long runs on the weekends. This one habit, which we held ourselves accountable to, spilled over into daily meditation, reading, yoga (for me) and more. All this happened on top of our school work and social lives. As I look back over four years later it’s still quite incredible what we did while we were still in college. And it’s even more amazing to consider the fact that he never stopped this running habit and now he is an ultra-runner completing 50- mile “races”, as you could say, while my mile time is at an all time low (at the time of writing). I learned a lot from this period of my life and looking back it also affords the opportunity for a good perspective on habits and our decisions. Sure, running is not my top priority while it turned out to be for him, but it shows the immense potential down the road from the habits which we form. It also is a wonderful example of how your habits, and decisions, do in fact compound. The Compound Effect which I had read earlier that year turned out to be pretty accurate.

So what did I learn from this period of my life? I learned what it was like to build habits (and subsequently, what it was like to lose some of them). To use running as an example, I went from someone who didn’t run at all to a person who could not climb into bed before completing that day’s jog. Of course life happens and sometimes you might not have time to do the thing you want to do. In most circumstances you chalk it off and dedicate it to the next day. I vividly remember one day where I had to travel back from a conference in New York with a group of other finance students and we didn’t end up returning to our college campus until late at night. When I got back to my apartment the feeling of not completing that day’s jog was overwhelming and I threw down my bag, quickly put on my running shorts and dashed out of the door into the dark while my roommate and some friends were having their pregame beers. They couldn’t believe it either but the feeling of just keeping my streak going was too strong to give in to my fatigue at the time. Since then I have always put my mind towards building habits and while ups and downs are guaranteed, I still believe in the value of continuing the activities which are pertinent to yourself.

I still believe that the easiest way to build a habit is to have a committed accountability partner though acquiring one is far from easy for most people. For me, the next best way is to incorporate the activities you want to become habits into your existing daily routine. Which probably means you will modify it over time. The first tool I use is the streak. I lean on the Productive APP for this but the idea is simple. Check off the daily completion of the activity you want to do in a way which you can see the amount accumulate over time. What made me go for a mile jog at midnight after traveling all day? The idea of my 80 some day streak going back to 0. Sure, the app is just a fancy counter on your phone but that extra “motivation” you could say is real. The thought of doing it all over again, a whole 80 some days, is gut wrenching. Even three plus days once you really feel it can push you to keep going. If you don’t want to use the app what else can you do? Some ideas to get your mind working would be to keep a tally on a whiteboard or post it note with the conviction that you will throw it out or erase when you miss a day or putting an uncooked macaroni in a jar every time you complete your activity knowing that you will dump it in the trash when you miss a day. For me, the app is much easier and allows you to keep multiple habits organized with statistics for you to look back on.

Another approach I use is to start slow and build over time. You need to be patient. In life we have become too accustomed to things happening quickly when in nature everything takes time. All things of value will take time. This applies to habits and the results you want to see in your life. It’s natural, human and there is no way around it. That’s why I embrace starting slow. In June while I was finishing the school year, I had an amazing habit streak going stemming from my morning routine. It was making my body and mind feel great. I felt accomplished and loved every moment of it. Then I left to travel for the summer which kept me away from my routine for over one month. Now as I have returned home, though still before starting work, I find myself with the daunting task of rebuilding and getting back to where I had been over a month before. I still have the progress I made in mind and how I got there. I know that I will return more quickly than the time it took me to get there but still hitting the ground too fast is a good way to get my procrastination to return. That is why I am choosing baby steps and rebuilding slowly but surely. I am cutting down the time I was meditating, difficulty of the yoga, and more, into more manageable chunks which I can add to day by day. This allows for a more seamless transition back, or into, a wonderful and powerful habit.